Last week one of my old wargaming cronys and his wife came over to the seaside for a couple of days. I set the game up and he chose which side he wanted to command and we set to battle...
Lancing the Spanish Ulcer.
The little man in the funny 'at, Emperor of the French, had found time to personally supervise the lancing of his Spanish ulcer. It was the summer of 1809 and Boneypart had dashed southwards at the head of his massed Cavalry. His plan, to give a certain General of Sepoys the proper taste of war, his way. To see if the English could stand up to the horsemen of Eylau! The French deploy with massed Cavalry on their right flank, guns in the middle, and Infantry supported by the Guard on their left. His Grace the Duke of Wellington was, uncharacteristically, absent during his Army's deployment. As a consequence the English deployment under General Fitzarkerly, was frankly woeful. His diminutive Cavalry force bravely faced the French hordes, but his massed Infantry and large artillery battery were in a milling traffic jam!
Boneypart looks on in smiling anticipation as General Fitzarkerly, somehow conspires to make his seething masses even more disorganised. The French Cavalry draw sabres and canter forward, counter attacking English Horse are quickly routed...
Oblivious of the thunderbolt developing on his left rear, General Fitzakerly fixates on getting his Infantry into even more of an hopeless tangle!
Fitzarkerly's incompetence results in giving the delighted French gunners magnificent targets as they mill about aimlessly. Elite Highland Infantry are torn apart and routed without even shouldering their Firelocks!
Only the supporting Portuguese infantry get into anything like order and begin to trade volleys with the French Infantry.
The fighting is close and casualties on both sides are high. Then the Veterans of Eylau smash into the flank of Fizakerley's Foot and Guns! The massed charge is devastating and the English line breaks in rout!
Nothing in the enemy's experience has prepared him for the murderous onslaught of massed Napoleonic Cavalry. Battalion after Battalion are caught in line and destroyed as the French juggernaut careers onward...
The English Army is in total retreat, as belatedly, His Grace puts in an appearance, just in time to stop a 12lb cannonball with his melon!
The battle ends in an overwhelming display of Boneypart's genius for war. He immediately orders a victory parade and dispenses many Titles and Medals to his victorious soldiers.
The little man in the funny 'at, looking as fit as a fiddle after lancing his Spanish ulcer!